Smiling works over the phone

I am extremely, extremely displeased. I am, to put it simply, very annoyed. Not “my cat is pushing me off the side of the bed” annoyed, more “you did what?” annoyed. Maybe it’s more “furious” than “annoyed.” Technicality. I hate my insurance company.

I brought my auto insurance policy under FARMER’S INSURANCE. (I refuse to link to them, you’ll see why.) I have had a fairly good, personal relationship with my not-quite-local Farmer’s Insurance agent. They have a copy of our engagement photo in the office. I figured since I have my home owner’s insurance with Peggy Farrel, I could use the discount for having both policies with one company. I called, and my auto insurance quote was comparable to my GEICO quote, and then I got two 10% discounts — one on the home owner’s policy, and one for monthly payments on the auto insurance. Sounded good, and I switched over on Tuesday. My first payment was deducted that same day, and I cancelled my GEICO policy.

All good, right?

Thursday I get a phone call from one of the ladies at the insurance office — the underwritten policy as returned had a mistake — the correct information was submitted, supposedly, but the policy as returned had an error and needed to be updated: I had, in fact, been driving my car when it was in “the accident.”

Friday I get a followup call — due to the accident, my insurance rate needed to be adjusted upwards. I ask how much, they say FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS every six months. That’s $1000 in a year over GEICO. I was livid. So, I called GEICO, and they were very understanding, and reactivated my policy. I couldn’t get home owner’s insurance through them until I get the heating in the house updated, but that will be over the summer. So I still have auto insurance, I just had to spend a great deal of time to get it.

Now it gets funny. I paid FARMER’S INSURANCE (the worst insurance company imaginable) via my debit card. How are they refunding me the money? A check will be mailed. I might not get it for two weeks. Personally, I’m giving them one week, and then I want the cash in hand. Why? The last time they “mailed me a check,” I never saw it. I’m still waiting on it for seven months — the money it covered actually belongs to the mortgage company, so I’m not precisely missing $500, I’ll just need to deposit the check with the mortgage company when it gets here, but still. I paid them immediately, and they’ll take their time?

I — smiling — made a comment that if my money stayed in their hands much longer, I was going to have to begin charging them interest. She thought I was kidding. If I don’t have my money by this Friday, they’ll find out how much I’m NOT kidding…